It’s very interesting to see how my psyche has changed since the humble beginnings of my meditation practice four years ago. The practice has helped me in developing a hyper-awareness of physical reflexes that became an unforeseen benefit. This has helped me in great ways with sports as to regulate my breathing, my exertions and my facial expressions. Another visible example lies in most social interactions. I have noticed that whenever I have a slight moment of hesitation or that I am ashamed of my position I will break eye contact and move my locus of attention to the right and then go on a tangent that smooths out my story. I’ve come to the conclusion that I did not like taking specific positions because I was agreeable and that I had a tendency to avoid conflict. By understanding this pattern, by looking at physical cues; I can better assess and question my behavior to come up with corrective measures(A simple way to correct defective patterns will be the topic of my next article). Being neutral means that you never state the conditions for success… or failure! It’s in line with the classic adage that we cannot reach a target if we do not aim at it. And how many times have we been told to think before speaking? It has always been notoriously difficult to take a moment of reflexion before speaking up. That exciting angst that exists within us breaks out and gives us an arrogant and foul air. How are we to learn and understand someone if our conversations are oriented towards ourself?
This brings me to the main point of the article. The ability to be hyper-aware in a social situation can help you become much more articulate in your speech. We could call this right speech. In this type of speaking, one is conscious and comfortable with pauses and doesn’t feel the need to either brag or seek validation by altering his thoughts. This makes you captivating because you can form an idea as to what makes up a good conversation and stay reasonably in line with that idea in the midst of speaking. Let’s face it, when we are talking with someone a lot of ideas flare up. Remember the classic case of going to a store with the intention to simply buy that one item and ending up with five more on the way out. The salesman put an ounce of pressure on us and that was all that was required to change our position. A position that might have been formed over many hours before the encounter. A conversation is dynamic, you never really know where it will go, but by staying conscious and checking your state of being you can give yourself a chance and stay on track. It helps you filter out what is redundant, which gives you more space for eloquent and thought-provoking speaking.
Right speech is of incredible help in sustaining relationships with people and yourself too. If you start being more careful on the words you pick to describe your experiences and the way you feel about things, you can form a more accurate and less blown out statement about it. I’ve seen myself take a pause when I was verbally attacked or blamed for a situation. In normal circumstances I would have spout back quickly with an attack of my own.
I’ve also noticed that it can make you a wiser user of imagination. We’ve been granted imagination to revisit known situations, but also to expand and explore unknown territories. When one becomes fascinated with a subject, it is almost trivial to pull people inwards. It’s a magnetic attitude that expresses a non-conflicted state of mind that comes from a place of deep mastery.
Aside from meditation, partaking in personal social experiments with friends or becoming a member of a toastmasters club can help put into action our ideas. Personally, it has definitely yielded interesting results. Putting an emphasis on practical application is according to me the biggest game-changer when it comes to consolidating your meditative practice in various activities. Laying out a plan with clear goals will also keep thoughts of doubt at bay.