I’ve been looking at tree’s a lot lately. Ever since Alan Watts talked about tree’s as the “hands of the earth waving at you from the surface” it brought them to my attention. I’m starting to think that anything in this universe can be used to understand the world. When I look at tree’s I notice how every branch reaches out in a different direction, but that ultimately it is connected to a trunk. In other words, every branch shares a relationship with other branches. In terms of location they might all be situated at different spatial points, but they can be drawn back to one common “path”. Another interesting property of the tree is that it grows out of a seed unto this world. It literally came out of a small seed. Which came from another tree. Which came from another tree. Which came from another tree. And so on… We might not have the tools to trace back the original creation right now, but a simple hypothesis based on induction is convincing enough to understand that these growths form a repeated pattern.
Last Friday I was confronted with a peculiar situation. Peculiar in the sense that it is not something that I am often exposed to. To bring you into context I had purchased tickets to an electronic music event. I had coordinated the purchases between a friend from university and a group of friends I have been hanging out with for a few months now. By coordination I mean, I had independent conversations with both parties that confirmed they would purchase tickets to the event. So far so good.
I have been interested in sensory deprivation tanks for a couple of weeks now. I will go ahead and tell you that they are also called flotation baths. Doesn’t sound that intimidating now huh? Last week I visited a spa that offered this service. Basically, were talking about a giant silo containing water and about two thousand cups of Epsom salts. Typically you lie in there for about one hour. The silo is noise-proof and gives you the option to turn off the lights. As far as sensory deprivation goes, you do retain the physical sensations of your skin, but they become sharper since all your other senses are now toned down. The water’s texture also gains a viscous property.
I’ve heard of people who took LSD whilst bathing themselves for additional effects. It was not my case, but I did close the tank and shut off the lights to spend the hour in complete darkness. It ended up being a real treat. I spaced out and began feeling like I was an unborn baby in the womb. I also became the universe. I had also taken a lot of caffeine before heading out which was not recommended. My heart went pounding for fifteen minutes until my breath became a re-assuring anchor. It made me realize how little we care for ourselves. The body reacts to all external influences. It ought to be compared to the highest luxury item we will ever have the pleasure of owning and using. Under this kind of perspective it makes complete sense to take some time off and train the body.
Overall, I heartily recommend it. The sensory deprivation tank is a great way to detect any tensions that may lie in the body. This can give us hints to certain body parts that might need conscious supervision.
Last week was strikingly difficult for me. I let myself get overtaken by negative feelings. It could have been described as a feeling of doom, hopelessness and alienation. I am no nihilist, but it certainly felt like I was at the end of myself; but not dead yet. There’s war waging in Syria and I see people lose their loved ones, but fuck, I have lost the capacity to care. That’s a bad sign, it’s the first sign of apathy. It might be hypocritical to feel bad when other people are worst off, but we also know that pain is relative to your life experience. Therefore all suffering can be as intense depending on what you have gone through in your life.
In all truth I am very good at suppressing these feelings. When I grew up my dad said it was weak to cry. Naturally I learned from him and never displayed my emotions. It can seem like a stoic superpower, but later in life I realized it had nothing to do with stoicism and caught me off of any meaningful relationship. These past two years I have been trying to become much more in line with my feelings. Not only acknowledging them, but to give them space. It felt alien and unmanly. What did I have to lose? Fuck it, “When you keep doing the same things, you keep getting the same results.”(said I). Therefore, if I didn’t like the results I needed to change my ways. Not the worlds ways, but mine. I’m responsible for my attitude, for the way I respond to life.
This is where Brent comes in. Brent is someone I met a few months ago at the boxing gym. I don’t know what we talked about the first time we met, but I quickly figured he was a genuinely good dude. It was the case. Brent is someone you can talk to without choosing your words. I would tell him exactly how things were in my life and in my head and he showed acceptance and understanding. I can count less than five people that I have known in life that show the hidden qualities that Brent is displaying every time I see him. Writing this, I realize I’ve never even thought about his age either. He’s the kind of guy who could befriend anyone. I keep thinking that when Morpheus gave him the choice, between the blue and the red pill, he took the red pill and never looked back. We’re gonna need more people like Brent in the coming future. Thanks friend.
I was in the metro today. It was a pleasure to look at all the people move in and out of the wagons, make their way to the exit and generally following a long industrious circuit underground. In those moments, I can’t help but think of ant farms. To think that every single individual is thinking, feeling and being is rather amazing. Every one of us is an extension of the universe. When there is 200 citizens in a small space that makes 200 extensions mingling together in different ways and patterns.