I had this idea. When you really like someone, you have chances of subtly increasing your expectations. Or in other words, you might dream up different outcomes and strongly identify with them. I’m talking about relationships here because I believe that love is a powerful agent of change. You can meet people who remain stoic, but when they involve themselves in a member of the opposite sex you can see some basic human traits coming back to life. If you get rejected it stings a bit because of all those powerful visualizations that fooled you into thinking of the outcome becoming a reality.
In hindsight, it is good to feel rejected. It makes you understand how others feel when they live in that position. Will it change your behavior? Maybe not.
Then there’s the other side. You meet someone who is deeply interested in you, but you either don’t find them attractive or aren’t seeing them as potential mating partners. You let them go naturally without a hint of empathy.
I still think we all fabricate our own reality and it is in our power to accept or decline how others feel and hence how we feel about them. It sounds selfish and heartless, but I don’t think this definition means you can’t feel for someone else. It just means that you feel for them, knowing full-well that it is their reality. The only way we can really feel for someone is to map their situation back to a situation that happened to us. So again, we are back to expressing their pain in our personal reality.
I’ve had discussions about this with many people. It gets sensitive with long-term relationships, deaths and other personal artefact's that people keep close to their heart. Because they think I mean that there is no time to mourn, but that is not true.
There is a time to cry and there is a time to stop and get moving. At the end of the day, change is one of life’s most powerful constants.